Sunday, March 4, 2007

A TOTALLY WHITE DAY

I sit here at the computer struggling to identify the ways I have confronted racism in my world today. I cannot recall any interactions with people of color, I did not read anything about racism in the newspaper, and my time at church was once again remarkably monolithic in race.

I am embarrassed about this and I find myself wondering if I did encounter people of color and simply do not remember them or was it that I was able to ignore them as it they do not exist. I kick myself for glancing through the newspaper sale sheets and ignoring the news and arts sections. The television has been, for the most part, quiet and the radio silent. The few phone calls we received today were from white family members who called to speak with my parents.

My time at church was very white as usual. The person who read the prayers of the people did not pray for the people of the Darfur region of the Sudan, as usual and prayed for the members of our military serving in harms way instead. I know in my heart that many of these US soldiers are people of color, but I also know that when the people of my parish pray for them, they are envisioning tall, handsome white men with strong jaws and determined looks.

I cannot figure out if I think I am blessed or cursed by my ability to avoid the challenge of racism for an entire day. In the end, I decide that this is yet another privilege of whiteness that I did not know that I possessed. It functions in many ways as a gift -- relieving me from guilt and fear -- but it is a gift that I am uneasy about receiving and wonder if I can find a way to regift it to someone else.

I wonder about my friends who cannot get up in the morning and spend an entire day without experiencing or thinking about racism. Where do they find relief? What do they do to hide from the pain and the struggle? Is there any way I can protect them from this pain or to lessen its sting?

I have no answers. I end my day in prayer, thanking God for the blessings of this life and for the hope of a new day tomorrow. I ask God to bless the people of color in the world and give them a peaceful night and a share of the new day tomorrow.