Monday, March 5, 2007
D'ANGELOS REVISITED
Today I made my way back to D'Angelo's Restaurant, the site of my previously described encounter with reverse racism.
I approached the counter, ordered a sandwich, and made my way to a booth to wait. This visit my order is taken by a middle aged white woman. She is pleasant and makes eye contact as she takes my order. The company customer service training or her natural disposition are an asset to the company. I wonder if there is such a thing as being too friendly?
When my sandwich is prepared she rounds the counter and carries the tray to my booth. I thank her and apologize for not realizing that my number was called. She insists that there is no problem and tells me to enjoy my meal.
I watch as one by one she carries trays of food to each of the people who have entered the restaurant. Some, like me, react with surprise and apologize for the inconvenience. Others take the meal delivery in stride, either from habit, or for a belief that food service involves not only food but service.
I can't help but wonder if racism works the same way. If a person acts in the way they have been taught -- a way that is socially acceptable to every one in their social circle -- without ever being told or realizing that it is racist, is it truly racism? Does racism involve the intentional oppression and subjugation of others while the unintentional is something less than racism, perhaps bad manners or thoughtlessness?
Part of me hopes that intentionality counts for something. As if when confronted with opportunities to be racist or inclusive we are given a choice with clear boundaries of right and wrong. I don't think this is ever the case. Reality is so much more nuanced and right and wrong can be made cloudy by intentions, hidden meanings, and unknown consequences.
No matter how long I struggle to come up with the perfect storm of situation, scenario, characters and actions, I keep returning it the knowledge that intentionality is not a factor in whether an action is racist.
The best intention of the actors cannot change the facts that oppression and subjugation of others causes real pain, actual damage, and negative results in society. We can hope to be inclusive and to refrain from causing harm, but despite our intentions, we cause danger, harm, and pain. These are results that we cannot dismiss. They are real, just as the people who are demeaned by racism are real.
As the time for this racism journal draws to an end, I am beginning to look for signs of growth, understanding, and change. Perhaps it is too early and I should wait for the final meetings of the class. What I do see is a developing realization of the need for forgiveness -- of those who have caused pain by their racism and of ourselves for the racism residing in ourselves. There must be both.
People who have spent lifetimes carrying the burden of the weight of racism will have no cause to offer true forgiveness to reformed racist people unless they witness the repentance and new lives of those who truly ask for forgiveness. Racists will never truly reform unless they know in their hearts that forgiveness is possible and available.
We must work at changing racism together.
