Friday, February 23, 2007

HOW WHITE IS WHITE?

I spent time last night composing a Cultural Analysis of Self. I wrote about my heritage, my social location and the locations of my parents and generations into the past. I wonder how much of it is factual and how much is clouded by the passage of time and the perspectives of others who have passed the stories of previous generations on to me. They have every expectation that I will pass this lore on to my child, and I expect that I will.

I find myself wondering what exactly one gains from calling oneself white. I am struggling with the notion of self identifying myself as white, given all the baggage that carries. I do not want to be a white person, but I have skin that burns after fifteen minutes in the sun and red hair the betrays my Irish and English roots.

If I call myself black, am I calling attention to and bragging about my progressive liberal stance on issues of discrimination and oppression? If I call myself black in a room full of white people am I creating schism or making a judgement about them? If I call myself black in a room full of people of color am I attempting to create false intimacy or am I simply making a fool of myself?

I guess for now I will put away the label white and struggle to use the identifier given to me at my baptism, Sandra - Child of God, and expect that people will learn who I am by my love for them and by my actions.

I will strive to do the right thing, confident that God will forgive the difference.